#But we dont actually know enough about her parents to compare

[mummelthecryptid]

eowyn realising she inherited the worst traits of her parents,,, eowyn who sees her fathers recklessness reflected in herself knowing it brought him death. Eowyn who knows that while her mothers despair was visible in the way she slowly rotted away, her own resulted in her trying to get herself killed in battle.

[dot-png]

bryce Hfj Nd Headcanons u Say... ? Share them Pretty Pleas? wuld Love 2 Hear ur Thoughts Bout that Guy..

i see him having anxiety, clinical depression, c-ptsd and autism

the depression part is kinda obvious as to why if you pay attention to his character but ill elaborate later

the anxiety part is actually technically canon, since he has thalassophobia, which is an anxiety disorder (plus the fact i dont think airy would just randomly add a fun fact to their extra sections - a phobia caused by an actual disorder differs from just an irrational fear so yeah (also caney has epilepsy listed in his extra sections which is a disorder)) i'd like to incorporate that along with the cptsd part since it causes anxiety obviously

as for autism its more of a headcanon for fun rather than with factual basis but ill elaborate on it also

my reasoning for him having c-ptsd is not because of the competition but his childhood, his mom's behavior was so bad that stella had to out of her way to keep bryce away from her

i say complex ptsd specifically because of how he asks if she's having "another one" so we can assume it happened consistently. he also didn't have any way to escape (aside from stella distracting him) considering it was domestic. i dont really think his mom abused him in some way ? but the consequences had to be destructive enough for stella to assume their own home was unsafe for a small child. we don't see much about bryce's relationship with his mom (or his parents in general) but that 100% carried on to his adult self - especially if it happened frequently, and it was super early too because i dont think he was any older than like 7 in that flashback

another factor for this is stella's death ofc, we know how much their relationship mattered to him and how losing her affected him so i dont think i need to overexplain it

as for the way its shown in the show: compared to everyone else, his startled response feels more severe for me, like he always goes on fight or flight mode rather than just freaking out a little. i want to point out one 10 specially

liam shows up at bryces door after 7 months and just stays there for an entire night, during all that time liam just rambles about one and his mere presence is a reminder of one for bryce. one was a traumatizing experience for everyone, but bryce processes it differently, being reminded of that just sents him into shock:

he can't think of how to react until 10 hours later. the way liam reacts at first suggest he thinks bryce is just being rude and purposefully ignoring him, he thinks bryce shouldn't avoid talking to him because he thinks he didn't go through the same amount of pain he [liam] did on the plane and he shouldn't act like he did; but he isn't aware of how anything that remotely reminds him of a bad experience can send him spiraling back to that place, he may not have stayed as long and not have suffered as much (or worse) as liam, but he's been living with this mindset for so long that it's just an automatic reaction. he can panic at anything:

(and i wanna point out how on the first one the shot focuses specifically on him)

and that may seem obvious like, yeah of course he would panic in one 10 of course he was trying to process seeing liam out of nowhere after almost a year but i only went on this tangent and brought that up bc i wanna link it to another thing ....

in one 13 bryce says how "his life was miserable before the competition" and "now that its over he has an incentive to do something with his life". kylie also says that after bryce came back she feels like "he's taking his job more seriously". what i wanna touch on is how the way they put it seems like bryce is trying to like find a purpose in his life, but not exactly find peace ? i don't know exactly how to put it. like he says he was pretty miserable and demotivated he had a stupid chungus life whatever. it feels like he was trying to get his life in order and get more done, rather than facing what was holding him back in the first place and try to make peace with that. he felt unproductive when that's not really the main cause of his misery. which brings me to..

his whole thing with the waiting room. he didn't have any panic reaction, but he was definitely clinging to the past, in this case his childhood and the moments he got to feel safe with stella

now i know the waiting room is designed to make you want to go to whatever's calling you no matter what, but metaphors exist ok . so im gonna consider it a metaphor for his cptsd in bryce's case

he spends the entire episode clinging to the manifestation of stella, but liam stops him from actually going w her because he wants them to solve the whole airy thing first. by the end of it, bryce stops seeing the suburbs as well as stella. when liam and bryce finally get to rest, he says:

he didn't realize that his tendency to ignore his suffering in the past doesn't prepare him for when it pops up again. it send him into terror, he can't help but go back to reliving it, this cycle just kept making him feel worse but he insisted in doing better instead of reconciling with himself

his childhood and one were two different traumatic experiences, but accepting he can't just live what he went through in that competition behind makes him realize he doesn't need to be scared of his past so often. he had to realize he can't just constantly try to repress what happened and move on without reflecting on the way what happened scarred him and continues to affect him; even if he supresses it, it will come back one point and make him go through all that all over again (which is another reason for me to think that people saying bryce dislikes liam is stupid but thats not the point !🙄)

as for his depression season 1 implies it a lot, specially with the flashback sequence in one 7 i can see him having executive dysfunction and it being one of the reasons as to why he tried changing so much after one he also has problems with sleep, and the irritability that comes with experiencing depression in general. also stella's death once again contributes to it

i see him being autistic mainly because he's this trope basically:

(sorry this image is the only way i could put it . you have to understand . ) kylie says how he's not very expressive, and we see how he really isn't. monotonicity is very characteristic of asd, in his case it feels specially like a symptom considering how, in most cases, people don't mean to be as monotone as they are. we know bryce isn't exactly the most chill person in the world he just has a hard time managing and expressing his emotions

bringing up executive dysfunction again, its also a common trait in asd

another thing is his hypersensitivity (which i already talked about a lot), overstimulation can lead to panic attacks you get what i mean. i think he fits as being sensory avoidant

the way he handles most social situations in the show (specially on the plane and with liam on season 2) i can see him being oblivious to social cues

not exactly factual basis just a little analysis, i interpret him being low empathy but high compassion. i think the low empathy would be more related to his irritability

[staarlostt]

One of the main reasons I absolutely loved klaroline, is the way each of them developed on some way with each other.

You can say all you want but for me klaus is the better match for Caroline no matter what and here’s why I think this way.

From the start we could see how Caroline is severely insecure, she’s a misunderstood teenage girl, her parents are divorced, her mom didn’t have time for her always putting the work before her daughter, she always felt left out whenever it was at home or with her friends..and even with boys, Caroline felt like Elena’s shadow..and It was true. Whenever Elena wasn’t available they always choose Caroline as second option.

When Bonnie argue with Elena, she go stay with Caroline and completly ignore Elena, Matt went out with Caroline to try to move on from Elena, and same for Stefan. I felt like in later season him and Caroline was..I dont know but it was clear that he still loved Elena and yet he went with Caroline cause he needed to move on..so yeah Caroline was always Elena’s shadow.

”yes i am..I’m Matt’s Elena back up, I’m your Bonnie backup.

You don’t get it why would you ? You’re everyone first choice.”

I personally found it painful for Caroline to feel this way, she went her teenage era by being really insecure and felt unloved and not enough..that’s why she put the perfect image, that’s why it made her create some barrier over herself, she needed to be perfect at everything, she needed to put a mask for others to actually like her and love her, she couldn’t be really herself and no one understood her for real anyways.

And as we saw all her relationship with mens it was always her who was putting a lot of effort, it was always her who fought more for the guy, she was always chasing them, she put their needs first and forget her own.

Until..klaus came.

And here’s where we sense a change and a development more in her character in this aspect.

Like we saw klaus was the first and only one who saw Caroline’s really beauty instantly.

He saw that she was strong and smart, beautiful and full of light.

He even saw the darkest part of her and still kept fancy her and admire her at first..Klaus was the only one who could treat Caroline right.

He was always there reminding her of how beautiful and strong she was, he valued her more than anything, he draw for her many times, he gifted her expensive jewelry and dresses, he wanted to know everything about her, her hopes, her dreams, everything she want in life.

He always put her first for the first time above anything.

Even when the time goes she still meant something for him and still prioritize her when he could.

We could see that in the originals, how he didn’t even hesitate to save Stefan when he knew how worried she was even when it meant to put his life and everyone’s he loved In danger he still saved Stefan for the sake of her, that proved how she still had impact on him after years, he never doubt her skills or something like that.

He saved her from danger when he could, he supported her crisis and couldn’t say no to her to whatever she would ask, he really valued her, even compared her to a princess, that’s how klaus loved her, he never hide it from her.

And that was exactly what Caroline needed, she needed to feel loved without doubting it for a second.

While others made her feel insecure and unloved, klaus made her feel strong, with him she always brightened, she had power and felt better.

In her relationship with klaus she was the one who was desired and he was the one who was chasing after her..and like she said it was always the fun part anyway.

Also the fact how klaus could make her easily confident and all is amazing. And I think this is exactly what a right person should make you feel.

The right one would never make you feel unwanted and insecure, if you are with the right one you would never doubt it.

And this is how she felt with klaus unlike with others for the first time in her life she didn’t need to change for someone, she only was herself with him.

The way she felt like her existence lacked of meaning after she became vampire and it was showed in her birthday how she didn’t feel like it to celebrate it cause she realized that she will stuck in the between, and stay seventeen for the rest of her life.

She clearly lost taste of her life as she knew that she will live forever and it wasn’t as more exciting than before knowing that when you’re human you tend to enjoy every day of your life cause you don’t know when you will die.

But again, after she got bite by Tyler klaus had showed her another view of the world, he told her that there was a whole world waiting for her outside, that there was genuine beauty, art, music..he told her how eternity is beautiful in it’s own way too.

And he even gave her the choice to whatever or not she wanted to die if she really believed that her life meant nothing.

And that was at the moment when she realized that she didn’t want to die, also that was when she embraced completly her vampire nature and decided to be okay with it.

Due to him she accepted that part of herself and was more at ease with it.

After that she became more confident and used more her vampires abilities and all.

She wasn’t ashamed of being who she was anymore.

And when everyone excepted her to only give birth to the twins than disappear from their life and all.

And was always reminded that they weren’t hers actually.

Just like she reminded klaus of it every single time through the phone call, and he said how it was clearly stated by her boyfriend.

And still he knew that she wanted to be like a mother to them, he knew and comforted her about it,

He even confessed and share with her how he realized that at the end his family is what made him truly happy.

And told her then that it wasn’t a crime to love something we cannot explain.

Again only klaus could knew what she truly wanted and what she needed.

And while she was insecure about it before, after her talk with klaus she became more confident about it. She acknowledged it and accepted it.

And we could see the change when she argue with Alaric later.

“Our kids.

My kids. They are mine caroline, mine and Jo’s.”

And after that she clearly told him to not disrespect her like that anymore. And even when it is true that they weren’t completly hers by genetic, she still the one who gave birth to them and almost got killed while doing it. She was also the one who raised and taught them. She loved them truly like a real mother should and protected them with all her powers.

That’s how much klaus had impact on her.

He always made her feel better and confident.

It’s alway due to him to how she can accept some things that made her insecure before.

He made her knew her worth and she learned to value herself and respect herself too, she didn’t let others disrespect her the way Alaric did and all.

He brought out the best in her.

The fact that she went from feeling like no one in the world actually loved her, to feel loved for once.

She went from feeling always the second choice to actually be Someone’s first choice for the first time.

She went from feeling stupid, useless and shallow to actually feeling strong, confident and full of light with klaus.

She went from doubting others feelings toward her to actually acknowledging it fully.

”I fancy you, is it so hard to believe ?”

“Yes.”

To:

”I know that you’re in love with me and anyone who is capable of love is capable of being saved.”

Even when several years passed by, klaus made sure that she knows how her place for him remained the same.

”if we didn’t met until now, I wonder if you would even notice me.”

”it would be impossible not to notice you Caroline, your essence would hover around me, harangue me until I did.”

That’s why I will always think that klaus was the better match for her.

He was the only one who could understand her more than anyone, he didn’t even have to know her for a long time like her friends to actually know what she needed and wanted.

He could easily see through her the same she did with him.

When everyone were only searching the cure for Elena only klaus asked Caroline if she wanted to take It

Even tho he already knew that she wouldn’t, it showed his deep understanding level to her.

He always made sure that the others need to treat her well, just like he asked Stefan if he truly loved her, just like he made Stefan promise him to only do right by her cause it meant for him a lot.

Just like he asked Tyler if it was worth it to see her smile and then give him time to run even tho he never chased after him for Caroline’s sake.

No matter what Klaus is the only one who ever treated Caroline right.

He was the reason of her development.

Let me know what y’all think I’m really curious but yeah this is what i truly analyzed. 

[bearloonz]

Thinking abt trolls 3 and why it picked up so much traction compared 2 the other 2 movies. Like technological advancements aside I think the main thing is just the character lineup.

Movie one was mostly branch and poppy. All the kidnapped trolls operated as One entity really so it’s not like u could particularly??? Care about them too much. Bridget and Gristle were really really fun but the villain wasn’t anything particularly special or noteworthy judging by just how little people. Talk about her. OH and also creek was there (literally forgor im rereading this for typos and adding this now) but like. Oh no the guy who showed up for like 5 minutes is a Bad guy and im supposed to care about the quest to save him mostly just because theyre telling the audience they should care because Poppy cares . But theres just not a lot of setup (and Creeks just not that. Interesting?)

Second movie had considerably More bangers and was definitely going in the right direction character wise. But it had the Opposite problem with wayyy too many guys that were really interesting and not a lot of time to do anything with them. You get King Trollex’s intro, Biggie, Cooper and Prince D and their parents, Delta Dawn, and Allll the bounty hunter trolls, PLUS Barb and the rock trolls. Barb was definitely a prime example of a major upgrade from the movies, having a villain that the audience actually vibed with and u could Tell by fan reactions I think. (Parb sweep) But there was just. Sooo so much, on top of the lore dump and a plot that you really had to get cool with really quick to get invested in. theres a bunch of new trolls and these strings that are definitely super important promise (lie)

The third one feels like they finally like. Know what theyre doing. With their own universe. No big lore dumps, theres not even any Explanation for what Mount Rageous is, they just introduce you to it and the Rageons with confidence thru Velvet and Veneer and expect you to get it. Plus, theres still a lot of characters, but theyre much more tangibly connected now. All the brozone brothers are well established and have preestablished relationships with each Other so even if we dont get much time with them it doesn’t feel like theyre that out of place. It still requires some suspension of disbelief vis a vis “Branch had Four super secret brothers hes Never mentioned,” but they make it work and frankly, the set-up is a lot more easier to get invested in than “secret magical strings that Invented Magic I Guess.”

And with Brozone and Viva theres a connection To the main characters rather than just being tag-alongs for tag-alongs sake. They’ve all got their own niches to make them individually compelling but theres a connecting thread here so they still feel like they’re a part of the story. And they’re all there to do something!! And then Velvet and Veneer of course continue the vibe that Barb had of being villains with enough screen time and personality that you like them As characters and arent just viewing them as The Plot Obstacle. Which is cool i think. Overall i just think the third movie felt a Lot more confident to do what the fuck ever and thats Really good.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my brother his wife is using him?

This may be long but I want to make sure there is enough info for you to give an accurate judgment. TLDR at the end but I encourage reading the full post

I (25f) have an older brother, J (28m). I also have a younger brother (22m), L. J and I were always close when we were younger then grew apart as we got older, the boys always were close. The year J graduated high school we became close again.

J met his gf A (29-31f, I dont even know how old she is but she's older then J) during college. I remember the first time A came home with him, and she was very sweet but very nervous. We clicked and had a good conversation that lasted hours (we all were at our parents house and us girls had to share a room and the boys did too). Anytime there were holidays we stayed at our parents and did this (big holidays that colleges had off like Christmas and Thanksgiving)

We met up a couple of times and all was fine. It was hard as they lived far away from where we grew up (2-4 hours depending on traffic and routes). Then I moved to the country, about 20 minutes away from them. We met up more often, but only maybe about once every 3 months. No big deal, I was busy working. Then J and A got engaged and it felt like everything changed.

I would invite them to hang out or get dinner, but J and A would make excuses. J would be like "A can't come so we won't make it" even when I said "okay but what if only you came? You're my brother?" He would make excuses. The days they agreed to meet up, suddenly day of couldn't go. He was tired after work, she wasn't feeling good, the car wasn't working. Anything and everything you could think of. I did notice whenever L came to visit me and stay, J and A would always be available to meet up, even if it was last minute.

So I figured...it somehow must be me? And then they got married. And it was beautiful.

Or so im told as it was a private ceremony and I wasn't invited :) I actually was originally told the date, which I asked off of work for, but then I got a text a week prior saying "guess what happened tonight" and then was told they got married. L was there. Our parents and myself were not. A did tell me she didn't feel right inviting our parents if her parents weren't there...but why not me? I was told it was a private ceremony and only L was there as a witness, but one of their friend's posted pictures and it had over 5 different people in them

I tried to let it go but honestly it hurt me and pissed me off and everything kept adding onto it. I have zero clue what the hell i did. I have texted J and asked him point blank if he is mad at me, he would deny. I asked for A's number cause he mentioned she was lonely and had lost friends, I said we could go get our nails done since that's something she likes (I dont but I figured I'd extend an olive branch) he refused to give it to me. It seems its me but again I have zero clue why.

It worsened after me and J got into an argument. They canceled again, and I do know A was having a bought of depression at this time. I understood, as someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But J told me I never would understand (A was still going out to places and hanging out with friends, meanwhile there were days I couldn't get out of bed and called into work sick. I know we shouldn't compare mental illness but it seemed like an excuse to me. A also would do things that she has said makes her mental health worse, like reading and watching things that triggers her). The whole reason I wanted to hang out is because I had Christmas gifts from our parents and a few of our childhood friends for them (L was out of the country at this time and had mailed a gift to them). They kept bailing and I tried for TWO MONTHS, I finally delivered the items the week after Valentines.

One of our friends was a baker and TOLD THEM she baked them a cake, special for them because A has dietary restrictions due to a chronic disease. They knew this and it spoiled. So I was upset for my friend, and I lied and said they got it to save her the hurt.

But when J finally told me to drop off the items I blew up at him. We stood outside his house and yelled at each other. He flat out told me to stop being so emotional and that I was letting hormones get in the way of thinking, and that I should understand A being depressed. I did! I yelled at him he should get his head out of his ass and that he is letting down not just me but our friends, especially the baker who has a waitlist and made stuff SPECIAL for them. He didn't thank me for my gift, but texted each individual person for theirs.

That was in 2022. A month after I apologized and he said he forgave me. But nothing has changed. Since then they didn't wish me happy birthday (they called L on his, he is now living with me temporarily, but when I pointed out I didn't get a happy birthday from anyone *literally only one friend wished me a happy birthday and L, even my own parents forgot* A told me I needed to get over myself and that birthdays weren't that important to them so I shouldn't take any offense. I didnt expect them to wish me a happy birthday this year because of that, but my true friends and my parents did remember this year),. They didn't come to my college graduation. I stopped texting J and I hadn't heard a response since. We did see each other this past Christmas coincidentally, not planned as they didn't come to our parents. J was pleasant, A said nothing but watched me the whole time, and I made excuses to leave this Christmas party as I didnt even know they knew the person throwing the party.

I came home early from work this past week and J was visiting L (something J claims he can't do during weekdays cause he works 9-5 during the week...allegedly). J gave me a hug and we all chatted for about an hour, it felt like old times, but then his wife called. It was a smooth conversation then I got brought up, and suddenly A needed J back home immediately. He bailed on dinner plans he and L had (L had spent all day cooking a roast, it was delicious btw and yes L was upset J didn't stay).

I had enough. I called J during his "work hours" on his cell. J answered and I chewed him out. I said our brother was hurt and whatever the issue with me is HAS to stop. If he doesn't tell me whats wrong, I CANT fix it. J told me there was nothing wrong with me and I was reading too into it. I pointed out some of the same instances I listed and he told me I was reading into it. He then accidentally let slip that A didn't want us talking. Which I figured. I blew up and told him A was using him. A was turning him against me and our parents *i am too lazy to go back but he stopped talking to our parents the same time he stopped talking to me but he always talked to L*. I mentioned how she is an adult and if she has an issue with me she needs to tell me, but instead she's a fucking coward. J yelled at me that she has anxiety and I yelled back "bitch I do too! I'm on fucking meds for it" which i know she isnt. J hung up on me.

Not only is everything above an issue, A also: doesn't have a job and only J has the income. Claims its because of her illness, the one that causes dietary restrictions, yet EATS said things even though she knows makes her sick. She won't let J meet up with our childhood friends. A also has stsrted getting J to take edibles with her. If J is tested, it will get him fired from his job. But then she complains he's being a loser if he doesn't do edibles with her.

The kicker is this: A solely used to date women. J is NOT a woman, nor does he want to identify as one. J knows A used to date women, and again tells me I should be more considerate seeing as how I am openly bisexual. However, and I havent told J this, one of the conversations I did have with A after they got married, she told me TO MY FACE "yeah, I never imagined marrying a guy yet here I am." Laughed and I kind of was like oh haha, isnt it crazy how things work out, to which she said "I dont even like men!" Slapped my thigh laughing and continued laughing. I was bewildered and when J had returned and asked what we were talking about we both changed the subject.

I did tell L when that happened and he thought it was weird but we couldn't change anything as they were married. I dont know if I should tell J.

But really I do feel as though A is using J, but now im wondering if I should lay it out more clearly WHY. Or if I should stay out of it. They already seem to hate me, so part of me is like why not go for it. But L is talking me off that bridge (my therapist is also testing me for something that isnt solely anxiety and depression) . I know J is hurt as he told L such, and part of me feels bad I yelled, but also the rest of me wants to key his fucking car and tell him to shove it up his ass and ban him from seeing L at my house as it is MY house even though L is living there

AITA?

TLDR: I yelled at my brother his wife is using him as she doesn't have a job, always falls back on her mental and physical illness yet does things to make them worse, and has also told me she doesn't like men (she used to exclusively date women prior to my brother).

What are these acronyms?

[beatingtheouijaboardallegations]

do think we have some important perspective to say about the ‘all nonspeaking / nonverbal people can read minds & literally send secret message to each other across time & space. and access so much spiritual better connect to g-d in ways speaking people can’t ever’ bullshit. thta becoming so so so popular even among people we respect in nonspeaking space cause that fucking podcast being promoted everyone un escapable if in S2C etc center space. but so scared of responses because is one of my most needed communities , already thin ice don’t want to completely make people hate me who could be only bridge to connect people like me.

as dissociative person / collective , who different alters have gone through diffrent stages of thinking can read minds. and who thought could all read minds and talk to people not there before realize there is people in my brain. thinking of that one girl in head. formed because trauma from growing up thought of not human treated as worse than alien worse than object as nonthinking nonfeeling. believes will return to “ her world” where we are powerful and understood and don’t have body that needs this much care can exist as a self not need others so sheerly. believes is telepathic with that world a d also that can hear thoughts of all other nonspeakers and talk back n forth.

we dont have good enough communication for me to. ‘interview’ her for an article or do back and forth discussion debate. but she has been dormant and then sudden took over while listening to That Fucking podcast ( for ‘research’ purpose) because of course she would. and now has so much more ‘evidence’ for the trauma beliefs (is whole web of belief have barely scratch surface here) act so smug about it so annoying, know is a part of me but hate what she does to us

and think that even though many nonspeakers who have these beliefs (and their parents and professionals around them also do) not plural and not have DID OSDD ect. 1. so few of us given language understand experience of selfves experience of dissociation & multipleness & substitute beliefs & fear and trauma. so few of us get any type therapy at all good or bad , or just therapy that follows parent religion , or just behavior and ‘ skill build’ therapy and maybe psych meds and few coping strategies taught but no pne to actually explore depths of how we feel, cause not seen as able feel only able to act. i mean only reason selfves found out language of DID exists is because being on tumblr , have access to internet and informatijom not pre approve by authority & the motor plans n cognitive ease of looking through information freely was something that cultivated and early supported after learning to type. and also immersed in queer trans communities through partner and local places , where have met some other systems who willing compare notes on experience. which most nonspeaking nonverbal people dont get.

and 2. any traumatized people especially people face specifc kind trauma of grow up full life nonspeaking presume incompetent. more likely build up all kinds ideas necessary to surviving and can see exactly how when you spend life just as fly on the wall observinf the world not affecting it, no one is teaching you how to communicate in the most full most easy way possible for body mind , being abused in the big and small ways in special ed and by staff and doctors and talked about in most awful ways while you are right there. “i am telepathic” can be belief that so so so needed to survive that hell. so can “i can talk to everyone else going through this and we can fight together with just our minds from miles away.” and do relate so deeply to nonspeakers who talk about these things.

the problem lies when peope who are not us. parents or doctors or spiritual healing bio med podcaster people. take those trauma beliefs and make them so very literal, as part of their ( usually fundamental Christian or heavy based on that) beliefs that they want nonspeakers to also hold. will turn us into these prophetic creatures when we are very young instead if just letting us be people. which is terrible for thos of us who actually hold these beliefs and experience. we not getting chance to explore what means for us, in all the depths in all the ways we need to. just taken as “holy shit my kid can read my mind” broadcast everywhere like party trick treated like something other than human. which is same place trauma lies in first place, is two sides of same coin. it is all so anger making and not what any of us deserve.

[fishgir12]

Character ask game for Mateo and Logan???

Mateo and Logan!! Woo!!

Logan first cause she’s the best ever actually

GOD THIS CHARACTER IS SOOO. So many feelings with her she’s the best ever she solos all of them but sometimes I just have to sit back and sigh. Especially that part where she asked Astrid why are you like that COMPLETELY out of line I think she deserved all that came after that. So so many thoughts but I mean i think the amount I talk abt her says enough I personally think im one of her number one fans if not number one but that’s just me!! Also relate to her alot she’s not 100% me but I relate to so many aspects of her she’s prob #2 on that list

Romantic pairings

BeastlyPerfection!! Astrid and Logan!! God they’re so peak, from starting off as being rivals and then slowly bonding over shared interests OH MY GOD ITS PEAAAK. Not much to say but they take up a lot of my head. Def my fav canon pairing #yuri4life

Copiedbeat…my pride my joy. I mean not to be bias but it’s my fav non cannon ship. I made them on my own when I thought it would be funny if Logan liked the clone of her best friend and then I got a concussion almost the same day LMAO. I thought it was a sign from the universe and they’ve just evolved from there on out. They’re my peak and I think about them every day

Non canon

LOGAN AND IZZIE OOOH MY GOD!! They’re!! The best friends ever!! When logan stayed behind to be doom domed with her to make sure she was ok and to make sure she was safe oh 😢😢 I think about them so so much

Cooper and Logan… I mean come on they’re really fun friends. Lesbian and gay friendships always last long

Mateo and Logan I think they would bully and tease each other constantly and they def aren’t best friends but they are for sure getting there!! Or at least friends for now

Unpopular opinion- some people only care about Logan’s character when it comes to ships and it’s really easy to see when that’s that case

Wish- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LOGANS HOME LIFE. I relate to her in the sense where my parents love me and we have our moments but they work so much I don’t see them much and idk I think seeing that with Logan would heal me personally!! Plus I have so many thoughts on her moms I need to know if I’m right or not in how I think they are

Mateo.

Ok buckle up um I have. Thoughts on this kid. Least fav of the dream chasers unfortunately sorry guys. DOESNT MEAN. I DONT LIKE HIM. I like him a ton!! I like him enough where I dressed up as him for Halloween. There’s just a lot I don’t like about him that just weighs him down compared to the others. But other than that he’s chill!

Romantic ships

COOPER AND MATEO GOOOD. Idk something abt childhood friends to bffs to not talking to teammates to friends again to something more it just hits different. Not a ton things I can think abt rn but there’s a lot of thoughts trust me bros.

Zoey and Mateo!! Really cute!! I said what I needed to say on my Zoey one but to restate I think they’re sweet

Non romantic pairings

IZZIE AND MATEO!! The siblings ever!! Their dynamic is so real I can see so much of me and my own little brother in the things they do idk they’re just so real?

Mateo and lunia I know they haven’t met I’m just saying that invisible string tying them together is yelling doomed dudes

Unpopular opinion idk I think Mateo deserves to be criticized sometimes he’s not the most perfect character In the world

Wish- MORE DREAMKEEPER STUFF WITH THEM PLEASEEE. He’s the only living person we’ve seen who’s able to use lunias hourglass and I need to see him tap into it more. LOCK IN.

[chemicallady]

I'd like to say something at this point.

I'm reading here and there that some of you are changing their vision about Noah or reaching the point to ask yourself if you still want to be a supporter of him because of what that blog said about him.

I believe that what happened between Noah and this person is probably true, I don't have any reason to doubt about her. But.

As we say in Italy, you can't fully believe to a story if you ear just one-side bell. Noah doesn't have the chance to tell his side of the story because he has better things to do than care about gossip. More than that, it's a human being. We have to look at the big picture. I don't want to defend him at all costs, I actually really don't care because untill he will be a decent person in public (not saying bullshit like Ronnie, for instance) and continue to be polite to his supporters, we are cool. I think I'm far older than more than half of the rest of this (sometimes really bad) fandom because I was a teen in the years of the emo wave. You maybe don't know about the Used, early MCR, Radke himself, Oli Sykes before Sempieternal...

They were drugs addicted. Always drunks as skunks. Pissing on people, throwing mic stands in the pit, get FULLY NAKED on stage (I'll never forgot about this, Quinn Allman). They did some awful shit in front of they supporters and to their supporters. Things that nowadays would get them canceled. You have no idea (maybe, or maybe you have) of what was Warped Tour 2005. Or maybe it was 2004? I can't recall.

Bad Omens are TODDLERS compared to this people. Innocent, pure babies. They are nice, extrovert maybe but nice. No one can deny that. They dont do drugs, they dont get drunk on stage or fuck around this supporters. They have an healthy routine in tour, they are teaching people to not fucking fight, they don't fuel fights! Its NORMAL in metal to have a couple of injuries at concerts. Collateral damages. I was nine at my second concert and I saw Slipknot. One dude broke his nose in the pit. Blood everywhere.

It's not a fucking Hannah Montana show. Those dudes are suppose to be badass. Noah is not pretending to be someone else or faking a new personality. He is doing is job and he is delivering pretty good shows. In no time he will grab his crotch around moaning like Oli, give him fucking space to express himself and be feral. Like any other metal artist.

Another thing.

Bad Omens vip experience is not expensive. I don't have interest in buy vip pass for 30 second of nothing, I'd rather wait after the gig is over. I met so many artists this way and usually they are more appreciable if they don't have to move to the next city. BUT the costs is not that high. I bought vip pass for LP once and I had to work 3 months to save enough for it. And I was still living at my parents'!

The merch is high quality, they make new pieces every time.... that's their way to get real cash guys. During a tour you have to pay tons of shit: the venue, flights, hotels, your crew. And you pay in advance most of the time. I don't think they are rich bitches rn. They are doing fine probably but still many of them lives with friends. Having flatmates is many time a signal that you can't afford Ronnie Radke house in Paradise Palisades.

I heard that they weren't really nice during the set in Canada. Maybe Montreal or Toronto. Someone felt bad, someone dropped a surfer I don't know. I didn't follow this I here for dirty smutty ff. If I want to see them play I have tiktok. By the way you have to know that most of the time you can't see shit from stage. Because you have lights in your face pointing your eyes. So probably noah just say a crow surfer falling and thought 'here we go again, this people has no fucking etiquette', and he left the stage. Or maybe who owned the venue asked them to do so in case of emergency.

BTW there is no fucking etiquette at their concerts. I stand with him if he's pissed off about that. It's not that hard to understand that you have to stay at the sides if you're not used to metal shows or you don't want to be pushed. Other people is ruining your experience or maybe its simply not for you. I grew up in the moshpit and that's how we like our shit. We have no time for filming or make tiktoks, we live the moment (we, people who like metal music, I'm not gatekeeping. If you wanna learn how to survive the pit and enjoy the experience just message me.)

So, to sum up.

My point is that every one of us has that friend that was a dick with one or more girls we still love him because we know that he's a weirdo an not a bad person.

My advice is stop being obsessed with Noah and just enjoy his work. You dont know him, you cant tell. Don't believe everything, stories are getting bigger and bigger everytime their are told, and think about the fact that straight guys are mostly jerks. They take more time to mature and act like adults. We know that Noah is in therapy now, he open up about it, so he is aware that he is not perfect.

BECAUSE HE IS NOT. HE IS A HUMAN BEING AND HUMANS MAKE MISTAKES.

That's it.

I don't want to fuel fights as well but please stop being ridiculous and acting like he is insulting you personally. It's fine to be delululu but your pushing the limits.

Peace and love.

[vryptidart]

rabbitadam b3 wahooo

yes ill need to redo this when we can make b3 saves but i dont think ive played thru book3 since... it might well be since release?? i don't remember coming back to it after.... dang

anyway time for slowburn pain!!

very brave of them to send rabbit and farah. it's a high risk high reward tactic. somehow better than the jemima and morgan duo which will be cor!rabbit's canon ghfghfhgfhghf

genuinely fucking brutal love that we get this right out of the gate ghfhgf

ok this one's gonna be a screenshots heavy one bc im still in the Characterwork mindset

i DO need to do an A friend run to compare but man. talk abt a shift in attitude from b1... theyve all come so far i wuv them

chair lore only for the NERD detectives

both of them are so fuckin SMOL adam pick them up one under each arm

rabbit: dont get me wrong. im worried. but i have my pride to consider

i know the responses do cover it but i really do think about how much like. the Detective Doesn't Get A Choice. it's REALLY not a situation where they had real option of anything but this. this is something i wanna get into with Rabbit and Jemima....

oh haha shrimpteresting, the scene label is different. i remember when the demo was coming out, this scene was labelelled annunaki (i still have the files archived) which got me Researching immediately

hiiii sinnnnn

ERIC AND SOL ARE SO CUUUUUUTE ugh

oh hmm... Rabbit is more the sort to suggest flashy and showy, but she REALLY doesn't like the mayor so. for this run i think we're gonna go with the captain's. interesting couple of code consequences for this, i really don't remember enough of the structure of this book lmfao

this is a nice turnaround after b2's 'knocking heads' approach lmfao

the rabbit-rebecca relationship has been improving but i think its gonna start tanking thru this book rest in fucking pieces

i DO need more of Rebecca being a manipulator tbh we focus so much on the failmother parts we also need to recognise her gaslightgirlboss moments

and bc the mayor+captain were talkin abt Rook, Rabbits abt to have some Harsh reactions

spent soooo long figuring out whether to go with the 'not friend' or 'not now' choice..... we're going 'not now', rabbit is Fucking Tired

poor nate and farah having to watch this go down. punch him again morgan.

yay...kidnapping time.......

li-sar i'll slide you a 20 and a night with jemima if you can fucking murder the mayor before we bring you to justice

i DO need to make A and M growl more. i do find it a little cheesy but i think i should lean into it gfhhfghf

hmmhmm crime scene options.... Rabbit actually gives a shit abt her job so. i think she'd go talk to the parents (also bc People stats). will be scrounging thru the other paths tho for Interesting Tidbits

ahhh right. okay, now i need to factor in the sin stat. i do think for Rabbit i'm going for the no-Rebecca auction approach- i'm gonna start snagging sin points whenever i can bc i think i recall them being a little finicky to get to the right level and i want to get Sin to ally with at least Rabbit

god he's such a fuckin nerd (also rip to all the other options which have N Trying To Defend Rebecca gfhghfhgf)

i will say. any time i rewrite this part of the story, im definitely giving UB Actually Useful Contributions whether or not their Detective was there helping lmao. disclaimer, i do enjoy sera's writing, and i understand the practicality of certain approaches, but i think an area that she struggles with is effectively displaying competency for characters-not-the-Detective. both for UB and also villains. it's not ALL bunk (i think the maa-alused are quite well done, similar for sin) but the trappers? you don't need to be code-diving as you play to have your character absolutely foil them from the first moment they arrive. they don't get any moment to underline that they're Actually A Threat. joy of fanfic- I Can Fix This lmfao

oh shrimpteresting...

jemima having An Emotion abt that

LMAO

i wanna paw through which options help the rescue stat vs which help the sin stat later- i wonder if there's a pattern in what's revealed... cos this route (check the backpack in the bedroom with M) gives you a +1 to Sin and i'm unsure why

aight its late and im tired, ill pick up with the felix branch tomorrow

[kinnenvy]

i am having thoughts about brian and his parents (jack joan debbie). it's messy and chaotic but i need to take it out of my brain and put it somewhere

Jack and Joan

There's like a pattern that he must go through with his birth parents, especially in season 1 it feels as if brian likes to present his relationship with his parents in one way, when it's actually very different.

He feels troubled by his own fatherhood, by Justin's relationship with his dad and the first thing he does is search for his own dad. he tells justin he never sees him, but then at the end of ep 1x09 michael talks about brian's visit and heartbreak over jack like it's something that happens routinely (and it does for sure, considering that it seems like jack is depending on him for money). "When will you ever learn?" NEVER! HE WILL NEVER LEARN!

until s2 ig. to me his relationship with joan is the most puzzling. he visits her, brings her flowers, but it doesn't feel like he ever tries to indulge her in the same way he did with jack. i wonder if that's because he didn't grow up being scared of her, so there's no instinct to get into her good graces...? im not qualified for this kind of analysis i dont think

they've both surely put him under intense distress, in different ways maybe, but it's distress nonetheless. living in that house must have been like being taken apart constantly, nowhere to hide, no comfort, only pain.

im not sure what the timeline is, but it's possible that the first time brian felt loved and wanted must have been THAT DAY in the showers after school. it could be also why he has that twisted perception of what happened. (or maybe it's just early 2000s writing who knows)

Debbie

she honestly makes me kinda mad. she saw a 14 y/o break in her liquor cabinet, get drunk and thought "this kid's kinda troublesome idk :/". i think making big speeches and saying pretty words she doesn't fully understand is very much part of her character (ben), but the way she does it with brian in relation to his parents is horrible to me.

(surely without knowing) she uses Brian's need for approval from his parents and convinces him to come out to his dad, what does that achieve? brian has to hear his father tell him he should die. brian has an important, vulnerable moment with her after his diagnosis and she shares it with joan without him asking or even wanting her to. what does that achieve? we remember what it achieves.

I think it's fair that she thinks about michael first and then everyone else, but i feel like she's softer on everyone else (david????) compared to brian. sure he kept their relationship vague enough to make him believe they could become a couple, but he isn't doing it to have a laugh, they're codependent. when brian is forced to break it off by debbie, she's happy to let brian take the fall on his own. she understands what he did, so instead of maybe idk helping him get at least Lindsay's support, she keeps her mouth shut, calls brian a good kid, gives him a pat on the back and is ready to send him his own way.

which brings me to the way she acts like she understands brian. it feels like the writers are telling us she understands him, but does she? idk. she picks up on things he does in secret one moment and then gets him totally wrong the next. she calls him a selfish asshole in front of everyone, but when it's just the two of them she suddenly has always known he's a good person. why is she never saying good things about him when everyone's around? why does it have to be just the two of them?

"Brian would hate it" "Brian would cringe himself to another planet" Sure but maybe Brian would also get home and maybe for once feel like the adult he imprinted on approves of him with no compromises :// idk

[just-absolutely-super]

Heyy idk if you still like fma so feel free to ignore lol

So like... i dont get the 03 hate fully. I get the preference but i really thought 03 expanded a lot of characters, esp scar winry... ive heard a lot otherwise though. Im rewatching 03 rn actually so i dont remember shit compared to bh lol

Of course I still like FMA...manga and BH at least

I feel the opposite about 03, I feel like they didn't expand the characters, especially Winry. She felt very ignored and sidelined a lot of the times, even when they tried to keep her in the narrative it felt like she wasn't used to her full potential. And her feelings for Roy killing her parents was basically sidelined, so that's another misgiving I have about it

Same issue with Scar. I felt they tried, but in the end, not enough was done with him

If you still feel the same after rewatching it then that's fine, I know not everyone agrees with me about 03. We all consume media differently, so if you feel it captured the characters well, that that's your vision of the show, not mine

[oreo9thelord]

Y'all ever get an asshole teacher? So this is kinda a rant but I'm angry rn so I'll continue (why am I apologetic this is my fucking account) anyways some background. So for the past couple years I was the top kid in class, I always had the best score. And at the end of the year when they calculate the grade I was always the one with the best grade and the teachers gave me gifts because I was such a good student, so anyway we just moved and I'm at a new school with new teachers, this really short teacher who ill call

Ms. A (the a stands for asshole) so Ms. A was my Arabic teacher and while I didn't really like Arabic I would still get good grades in it, but for some reason from the very start she just had a vendetta against me, getting mad when I asked her questions because i didn't understand something and talking to my parents and telling them I'm "unintelligent" and "one of my worst students" now of course my parents have common sense and knew she was just spewing BS but she continued being angry at me for the whole semester. But at the end of the semester at the half-year exams (which take place in between two semesters and are the second most important exams that count for 1/3rd of your calculated average) I was nervous for the exam but luckily after the exam I compared my answers to the book and found that I was supposed to get 100% because I answered everything correctly, then I get an 88. Which compared to my other grades is tragic, i KNEW but when my dad who now became a teacher at my school asked her about this grade Ms. A said "oh he had made a mistake at this part" which was BS because I answered the question one to one to the answer in the book and when asked about this she said "oh no he actually made a mistake at this part not this one" which is just, what???? And she REFUSED to show us the exam paper so I could see my "mistake" without giving a clear reason. In the second semester Ms. A was assigned a different class that was still in the same school, at the end of the year when our grades were calculated I was 8th, because of her I got 8th, now that wasnt what made me angry the most. I wanted to confront Ms. A, to actually know what the hell I got "wrong" what gave me a grade that crushed my soul and made me cry, but when I asked my parents to let me talk to her they said things like "this just happens" and "it's fine dont worry" and "it isn't worth it" this was an injustice, she was corrupt and mad and making shit up just because of her ego but "it isnt worth it"? Really? It isn't worth it to let everybody know that she is a fraud, that she refuses to correct her behaviour? Is it really not worth it to let the other students she teaches finally rest? I spoke with them they said to me that they don't like her, that she isn't a good teacher, but none of them are brave enough to actually do anything about it and I'm not strong enough to do anything too. She still teaches there, and after my dad talked to her she says crap like "oh he's such a smart student" and stuff like that because my father is now teaching at the same school. And she greets me with her evil grin when she walks past me, I bet she thinks she's "such a great teacher" and that "I would be lucky" if I was taught by her again, keep in mind none of her teaching made sense to me, I had to get my parents to help me understand the subjects to even study because of her crap teaching. Alright rant over everybody have a good day

[globodamorte]

I'm kinda pissed off.

(lmao had to put it under a cut bc it got LONG)

didne sleep well like usual woke up with my neck hurting and my mom screaming calling for me like and when I asked what she wanted she just said "come.downstairs and help me call your sibling" and like.ok IG God fucking damn I'm in pain ok call the sibling let's go downstairs idk what she wants and she was like "just help me. clean your room. clean the cats litter. just Do something..." and she started fuckin. telling my cousin how much she hates that we don't do things the exact moment she asks us. and how "wrongly" she raised us..while I'm fucking sleep deprived and in pain and generally exhausted. constantly.

and I'm trying my best but I can't say that bc I don't "DO" anything and therefore I basically "DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT" to be exhausted and if I'm in pain that's MY fault for being a sedentary fat bitch bc again I don't "DO" anything. and I KNOW she's upset about my weight bc she's said so before one time she got pissed and yelled at me and just HAD to mention how I'm just getting fatter at home without doing anything with my life. it doesn't even matter to her that I lost 5kg in a month all of a sudden if her old jeans can't fit me then I'm still too fat IG.

I'm in so much pain and every little thing is so fucking difficult for me and I'm so exhausted all the time and I can't mention it bc to her (or anyone for that matter) bc I'm "lazy". she decided I'm "not as depressed anymore so why am I being like this?". like I'm already stopped doing the thing my ent doctor asked bc it's just. too many things and I keep forgetting at the end of the day. I WANT to do it. but it's HARD. EVERYTHING IS SO HARD. but things CAN'T be hard for me bc I'm "intelligent and smart (<- had good grades in fucking. grade and middle school I guess)" I'm TRYING. but it doesn't matter to them. bc to them I'm not. to them I'm being lazy.

like idk i feel like it's so dishonest to compare me to a non (or let's be real, less) traumatized version of myself. like bitch yeah sure I was 10 and got good grades. I still dealt with bullying from my own "friends" and self image issues I couldn't tell my parents about. I had to hear sexist comments about my body when I was , FUCKING 10, and not being able to do anything about it bc the solution was just to exist differently I guess.

like ofc I understand that they can't see inside my head to fully understand but they don't even partially understand and I'm terrified of trying to explain. I'm trying my best. I really am. some days my best will be making food for everyone. some days my best will be showering and doing my skincare. some days it will be brushing my teeth at least once. and yeah some days it'll be nothing. but when I think about the way they see me I start feeling crazy "am I really trying? did I manage to trick myself? am I actually fine and just pretended so hard that now I think I'm actually ill"

i don't even know anymore. I'm exhausted.

it literally does not matter to them. if I stay out all day and come back and say I'm tired they be like "but you don't do anything" I realized it's almost an automated response from them (at least from my younger sibling it is) there was one time I did do a lot of things at home. in front of this sibling. and when I just sat down and went "oof I'm tired" they were like "but you didn't do anything" and I realized. it literally doesn't matter if I do or don't do anything they WILL say the same thing.

no matter what I do it really will never be enough for them. they just want me to magically not be mentally ill anymore. they will never say this, but what they want from me is basically that. I just need to stop "moping around", lose weight, get a job (which I do NOT feel capable of doing it maintaining), and be happy. easy right? it's not like I have a good reason to be like this (,they're the reason,) they dont want ME. they want the version of me inside their heads that honestly I don't. think ever existed. bc if I try going back to pinpoint the moment 'everything went wrong' I'll just keep going back forever bc there's no moment like that. I guess I just took longer to break but the thing is. now I'm broken.

[flaming-thing]

I'm sorry about everything that's happened. I hope you can find peace with it all

They so should've done that in canon, have them all board the boat and then an hour or so later have villads just be like 'ah yes, forgot to tell you earlier but we have to sail through a deadly storm'

Poor callum has so much more to deal with in this fic than in canon. Well, not *loads* more, but hes definitely got it harder with claudia and trying to come to terms with her being a horrible person

I *always* forget that there's a period of time where callum just... can't do magic. I associate him with sky magic so much that they're pretty much synonymous to me

It's not ridiculous callum! It's a very reasonable reaction to losing something that was so important to you and meant so much!

What?? No guys tell him he's being reasonable. I get the whole 'you can't learn primal magic if you don't have the arcanum so you can't do sky magic without the primal stone' (which is wrong anyway! But they don't know that yet) but that dosent mean it's ridiculous!!

Poor callum is all i can say to this. Poor kid has far to much going on rn

The LETTER scene. Oh no. This made me cry hard enough in the show

Ok side note: I love reading stuff in comparison to watching, because unless the character goes on massive monologues, you dont really get any indication to what they're feeling other than what they show you on the screen, whereas when your reading you just get a while other veiw on a characters thoughts and perceptions

It's probably different for rayla because 1. She thinks her parents abandoned her so dosnet really like them (or pretends to at least) and 2. They left a while ago compared to when callum realised claudia betrayed them, and left *her* even longer ago, so she's had more time to come to terms with it

Nono that makes sense. I'd rather someone tell me outright if something like that happened rather than try to hide it or avoid talking about it

🥲 to the whole letter. I *wish* that callum and harrow had had a talk about all this when he was still child. I feel like it would've made all this slightly more bearable for callum

Forgot Damien was still alive when sarai met harrow (here at least) and was really confused for like half a second

Losing both parents in less than a year wpuld be absolutely horrific. Anyone whose experienced it, I salute your strength

Hehee key of aaravos time

Or maybe not

Ram why in God's name are you staring at villads what did he ever do to you

Actually no that's a fair point. How do they know each other??

Didn't callisto go to Neolandia though? Or does ram just not know that?

I mean if callisto is the only one with the illusion, it dosent make much sense for her to keep it up and the others to just look normal

Oh ye berto definitely know. And is very capable of commenting. Why doesn't he? Idk he probably dosent care

Villads is just like that. And (most likely) having the sky arcanum helps (or ocean? I can't remember what the famdom has unanimously decided on)

He DOES have a magical connection!

I thought 'other humans' was referring to callum and ezran for a minute and was like 'ezran?? Being rude?? What have you done to my boy!?' But no it's not them

WOAH she's back

Ram are you pouting that much that's it's visibly obvious

I have an expiation for the 'why did the other humans hate him' and that is simply that humans tend to not like anyone whose even slightly different. No clue about callisto though that ones a mystery to us both

Why is it so strange to him that they know each other?? I understand wanting to know how they met, but it is really so impossible that they're friends/acquaintances?

I was gonna say, you're elves in a human kingdom. If see you, I really don't think they're gonna care who your captain is

I mean you technically still could braid rams hair? It would probably just be really hard

All these guys should just become siblings at this point. They're close enough already

Only runaan and skor? Does she not trust the others then? Or just not as much?

I fear she may be well into the mental adoption process

Oh damn she's right. So callisto *dosent* trust villads? Or does but not that much?

Same ram, same

You can never be too fond of a baby dragon, especially if said baby dragon is Zym. How could you possibly resist giving him everything he wants??

Nooo ram let yourself love zym :(

Hopefully soon her and skor are gonna have that talk, and then she won't be alone nearly as much

...the sea smells? I swear I've found out that like 3 different things have a smell because of this fic

I love how they're close enough to just talk a out these things. I know they have different ideas about privacy/stuff you should keep to yourself than we do, but it's still nice

Sorry I don't have as much to say fir the second half but it's almost midnight and I'm falling asleep as I write lmao. I might come back in the morning and add more

Different Path Taken Update

I'm too lazy to check the chapter number. I really should number them in my document. I got another chapter done. I know I've been really quiet; I'm sorry. At first I was just tired from switching from a night shift to a dawn shift at work, but then someone I know passed away in an awful accident and it shook me all to hell. I'll be okay, but it was . . . rough to try and write anything in this fandom; The Dragon Prince has always been more of a happy comfort fandom for me, not where I go to vent-write, so. The grief definitely still slipped into this chapter a little bit, but hopefully it's still good.

Villads had only mentioned the possibility of a storm after they boarded.  Callisto must have said something to imply their urgency before they got there, because though he cautioned them, the blind captain really didn’t seem to expect any answer other than Runaan’s curt “If you think it possible, we risk it.”

This suited Callum well enough.  He was still wrestling with Claudia and Soren’s betrayal, and Claudia’s thoughtless cruelty in particular.  On top of that, now that they were moving again it was harder to forget that he no longer had access to sky magic with the loss of the primal stone.  The connection he had felt to that energy had been so powerful, it was almost like losing a part of himself. 

He knew it was ridiculous.  The elves had been not unkind about telling him so, not in so many words.  It still left him feeling weak and broken, especially when followed up by being carried on a man’s back for two days of running.  

His legs and shoulders ached from helping to hold himself up, and no amount of Runaan’s stoicism could hide the way the elf moved more slowly as if he too was aching from the effort, and that only added to Callum’s feelings of guilt and helplessness. 

At the moment, the elves were all up on the deck with Ezran, Zym, and Bait, and he remained down in the hold.  The letter King Harrow had written him seemed to burn in his mind in the bottom of his bag, even the memory of his stepfather tainted by how he had received it.  If only he hadn’t dropped it at the castle; then Claudia wouldn’t have been the one to pick it up, then he wouldn’t have received this last remnant of him from someone who had gone on to hurt Callum and Ezran so badly. 

He wondered a little if this was how Rayla felt about her parents.  If the ache in his chest from his friends’ betrayal echoed a little bit of what she felt for what her parents had done.  She didn’t seem to feel the same taint towards Zym as he felt towards Harrow’s letter.

Maybe he wouldn’t either, after he read it.  Reading his father’s words had always made him feel better; maybe this would be the same?

At least it hadn’t been a shock.  He was grateful to Runaan, in a strange way, for how the elf had not tried to hide the king’s death from them.  How strangely honest the assassin had always been with him and with Ezran, even about the hard things.  He didn’t talk down to them like some adults still did, especially about things that were important to them.

He had pulled out the letter before he really thought about it, and began to read. 

Dear Callum,

It read, and his eyes stung already, recognizing Harrow’s handwriting, noticing distantly the affection in the king’s very beginning.

Over the years there have been moments when I let there be a distance between us. Because I’m your stepfather, I was trying to give you the space to love your real father, even after he passed away.  Now I wonder if I should have held you closer.  I wonder if showing you how much I loved you would have been okay and would not have disrespected your relationship with him.  He was always in favor of my affection for you, but our grief brought a distance where perhaps it should have brought a deeper connection. 

Callum, I know I’m not your birth father.  But in my eyes and in my heart, you are my son.  I see myself in you, am proud of you, and I love you unconditionally.

He had to stop again to breathe through it, wiping tears from his eyes.  He had always known that his mother married King Harrow before his father’s passing, that the three of them had an agreement of shared affection and she was married to them both.  He had lost his father and mother within about a year of each other, and it had left him floundering.  He had clung harder to his mother at first, only to lose her so quickly, and Harrow had withdrawn in what Callum now recognized was his own grief.

He had loved them as much as Callum did, albeit differently.  Perhaps even differently between them.  He  didn’t . . . talk about Callum’s father much.  No one really did anymore, except Aunt Amaya.  Callum guessed a common born poet was far less important to most people than the former Crownguard and Queen Sarai. 

As I write this, the sun is setting while Moonshadow assassins prepare to end my life.  A few months ago, I took my revenge on Xadia.  Tonight, it is their turn.  I may not have long, so I’m forced to ask myself: What can I pass on to my sons in the time I have left?  In this letter, I will share with you a lie, a wish, and a secret.

What could he mean?

Ram was well aware he was staring.  He didn’t particularly care, either.  There were two targets of his interest, and only one of them could see him, so he focused his stare on Villads.  Callisto would surely have called him out if he focused on her. 

How did they know each other?  As far as he knew, Callisto hadn’t done that many coastline missions, certainly not on this side of the border.  Admittedly, he hadn’t done that many either; there often wasn’t a reason for Moonshadow assassins to get involved with anything offshore.  The Tidebound and water dragons ruled the seas and kept their politics fairly well away from everyone else. 

Callisto seemed remarkably relaxed with the situation, was the thing.  She’d even had Ram drop the illusion around her once they left the shoreline.  The bird, which had a remarkable vocabulary that led Ram to suspect it was a Xadian bird, had not commented but he had the terribly uncomfortable feeling that it could.  If it chose to.  For some reason, though, it wasn’t.

Villads was a baffling personage, too.  How was a completely blind human managing a vessel like this with only a seeing eye bird for assistance?  He seemed to have an almost magical connection to the sea and wind around them.  The other humans also seemed rather venomous towards him, their journey to his docking station littered with rude mutters and strange, disapproving looks. 

Andromeda hopped up next to him and bumped her shoulder against his. “What’s wrong?” She asked bluntly.

“Villads.” Ram grunted, not seeing the point in keeping it from her. “Doesn’t it strike you as odd how . . . aggressive the other humans at port were towards him?  And how relaxed Callisto is with him?”

Andromeda hummed and squinted up at the sky before laying her ears back against the sunlight and looking back down at the deck. “I don’t know,” She said eventually. “Callisto has been working for longer than either of us.  She said she met him on a previous mission.  Perhaps the other humans’ prejudice against him is strange, but it seems to work in our favor - they’re less than interested in us.”

“Does it?” Ram pointed out. “What about the welcome he’ll get on the other side of the Bay?  Are we certain we’ll be safe?”

“We won’t be safe anywhere this side of the border, the identity of our captain hardly matters for that.  We won’t be docking in a port, Runaan already made that explicitly clear.  We’ll be rowing ashore somewhere secluded.” Andromeda soothed him, reaching over towards his head.

Recognizing the pause for what it was, Ram huffed through his nose but leaned over towards her to grant quiet permission for her to ruffle his hair.  He had cut it short after his mother’s death as a show of his personal grief, and it wasn’t quite long enough to braid again yet, but he did somewhat miss the show of affection it offered.  So.  Letting her pet him to soothe his nerves. 

He slightly regretted not offering - or asking - to braid his father’s hair before he’d left, but it had felt awkward with his own messy mop still too short to return the favor. 

Andromeda wasn’t really a motherly figure to him, their ages were too close together, but he supposed she was something like an older sister he’d never had.  It took effort not to just lean into her body and let her cuddle him like a snuggle toy in front of the sun itself on the deck of this bloody pirate ship. “Andromeda.” He whined when she wouldn’t let up scratching his scalp.

She was audibly grinning when she replied. “Do you really want me to stop?” She teased very gently. “It seems to be helping.”

He made a discontented noise and she thankfully stopped with a final ruffle to his messy hair.  He bumped his shoulder against hers apologetically and continued with his concerns. “It’s not just Villads and his . . .” He gestured vaguely at where the pirate had blatantly fallen asleep while piloting the ship. “It’s Callisto.  She seems to trust him - perhaps more than she even trusts us.  Why?  She doesn’t trust anyone easily.  Skor and Runaan had to earn it.  So why this random human pirate?”

Ram kept his voice low so as not to get Callisto’s attention, but when he gestured at her he realized she was really not going to notice.  For once all of her sharp focus seemed zeroed in on Skor and the children played some sort of game on the deck.  She seemed . . . terribly fond of the children for how much she avoided them back in the Silvergrove, and he said as much, adding that to his list and concluding, “Isn’t it just a bit strange?”

Andromeda was chewing her lower lip a bit when he looked over at her helplessly.  She took a deep, slow breath and sighed. “I don’t know that it is,” She said gently. “Do you really think she trusts him, Ram?  Or does she simply not care what he thinks?  She trusts us, but she cares far more than I think your or Rayla realize about what we all think of her.  She does not have that care for this human, and thus she is less . . . tense about interacting with him, even though she trusts him less.  Because, as you said, she does not trust easily.  But he does not know who she really is.  We do.”

Ram tilted his head as he mulled that over, his brows furrowing deeply as he did so.  It was an expression he’d inherited or learned from his mother, and he was carefully not thinking about why she was suddenly so present in his mind. “I don’t understand how one can be more relaxed with someone they don’t trust than someone they do.” He finally said bluntly.

Andromeda tilted her head back thoughtfully and her tone was intrigued when she replied. “Are you more relaxed with me or with your father?” She asked mildly. “And I mean relaxed in letting yourself be fully who you are, not simply comfortable.”

Ram opened his mouth to answer and found he had no argument for her point.  Despite his father’s reassurances, he didn’t embrace himself fully with him as he did with the other assassins.  He was comfortable in his childhood hollow, always felt safe and relaxed to just be . . . but the version of himself that he brought to that home was not the fully self-assured assassin he brought to Andromeda.  

“I see your point.” He said reluctantly after shutting his mouth with a click. 

Andromeda bumped his shoulder with hers. “It’s fair of you to get confused.  Callisto can be . . . difficult to understand.” She bit her lip visibly as she watched the other elves and Ram detected a note of something deeper in her tone and followed her gaze. 

Callisto had joined in on a new game Skor was playing with the children, though admittedly she seemed to be prioritizing the baby dragon they were all entirely too fond of after only a few days.  Ram had been trying to hold his own heart back, knowing they would be leaving the young dragon with his mother at the end of this quest - and that was the best possible outcome of all this. 

“What is it for you?” He asked when Andromeda failed to elaborate.  She looked at him with a curious quirk of her brow and he shrugged, feigning carelessness with his eyes still fixed on her out of the corners. “You sound as though there is something about them that you struggle to understand as well.  What is it for you?”

Pursing her lips, Andromeda tried to give him a little glare for poking, but she sighed and relented to telling him anyway. “They don’t stay close to people outside of the Guild for fear of leaving them behind.  I understand it . . . to a point.” She chewed her lip for a moment, eyes wandering off across the water as she considered how to go on, before adding, softer, “Sirius made a similar choice after our father died, and left training as an assassin so that our mother would not have to lose us all.  I remember how much we grieved, I remember . . . so I understand why they don’t wish to inflict that suffering on other people.  But I cannot imagine being so . . . comfortable just withholding my affection entirely.  Being so alone.”

“She seems happy with it.” Ram glanced at her again. “Most of the time, anyway.”

“She can be happy with it, I’m glad she is,” Andromeda agreed, and smiled faintly when Ram looked at her. “I just . . . don’t understand loving people the way she does, enjoying company and children and affection as she does, and being so comfortable being alone.”

She was wiggling in her seat, and through the nose-blinding salt of the ocean, they were sitting close enough that Ram could smell the shift in her scent that had her breathing through her teeth and leaning her head back with her eyes closed.  Her heat had her more instinctual urges bright to the forefront, and she was unsettled about something.

Ram suspected it had something to do with the talking about being alone.  No one - well, almost no one - liked to be completely alone during breeding season.  Even those who weren’t consciously interested in breeding or children tended to prefer some form of closeness.  He had been doing his best since Andromeda’s heat made itself known back at the Nexus and he’d heard her whining from her room, and it had helped.  But even considering being left as alone as Callisto preferred to be -

Ram bit back a whine of his own, cringing at even considering how that must feel.  He still took his own heats at home with his father, having no mate to lean on, and to be denied that comfort and company -

He slid an arm around Andromeda without prompting and didn’t bother talking about it, just snuggling her close and letting her scent that she wasn’t alone.

Andromeda’s shoulders twitched in what felt like an amused snort, but she accepted the cuddles without a complaint.  Ram felt irrationally grateful for it, unsure how to even take gratitude being directed at him for supporting her in such a basic familial comfort.

[naranciiiasolos]

the day i took senior photos made me actually want to kms. that day i felt so ugly and big. i felt like everything was so ugly. i remember thinking when i saw my friends having their photo taken “ wow they all just naturally look pretty “ after my photos were taken i actually felt like crying in that moment. i saw them and just wanted to burst into tears because i literally thought i looked so ugly. i hated everything. i hated how shiny my face was, i hated how my eyes looked i hated how my smile looked crooked i hated my double chin. i hated everything. i hated how big i looked no matter what. but i thought to myself “ hey no its ok cause when you get home you can show these photos to your mom and dad and they’ll call you pretty “ i came home already feeling super shitty about myself. i show my mom the photos and she just stared. i showed my dad and showed him the one i choose and he just went “ i dont like the one you picked “ i kinda laughed it off and walked away and went straight to my room. i ripped those photos. i locked myself in my room for like 4 hours literally just crying and telling myself how much i hated myself. i dont know why. like yea i still feel lile this but why was i so damn dramatic. i think i just wanted somebody to call my pretty that day. i usut wantef to hesr one nice thing about me. thats what i dont like about myself. i feel like im ugly because people dont call me pretty. im slowly starting to like the way i look. im kinda learning to love my double chin and my stomach. sl its improvement. but i still need to get diet. back in 2017-2022 my dad liked to have these conversations with me about my weight. i always hated them but ik hes just looking out for me. i just dont like the way he does it. he liked to compare me and sisters weight a lot. he actually compared me to my sister a lot. my sister noticed it too. i love my sister. we never show much affection towards each other. we almost never hug or say i love you. but i think we both just know. we never have to say it. i miss her. shes the only thing that keeps me sane tbh. she was a huge comfort to me back in 2020. she didnt have to say anything. just knowing shes listening or is by my side is enough for me. i was listening to an old playlist i made back in 2020 whoch made me remember everything that happened that year. somebody came out for me to my parents. my parents are cool with it i think. idk i just remember my dad having a talk woth my sister and me in their room. when they called me into their room i got the feeling that they knew. so i already expected my dad’s reaction. he was mad that i didnt tell them first. i didnt want to. i was scared that everything was going to change. i didnt want it to change. i didnt want them to look at me differently. i was scared they were going to completely stop talking to me. they mentioned it jn the past. so ofc i wasnt going tk tell them. i remember having a full on oanic attack. i literally couldnt breath. i was crying a whole bunch. i was suffocating. i was terrified about what he was going to tell me. after he went on gis rant he stopped talking to me. until the next day. he walked into my room and told me he loved me no matter what he just didnt want me to such a big decision early on into my life. the thing is i knew since i was in 7th grade. ive just been questioning if i felt the same about men. i still dont know but i remember him crying and telling me how he was sorry for how he acted. he hugged me and it was like a 10 min hug. i love my dad. but that year i was kinda pushed away from him my dads relationship with me kinda changed. he seemed more distant from me. he has gotten better. in fact hes a lot more accepting. we just havent talked about that incident since. tbh idk how i even got here. but i think i need therapy. but i really feel embarrassed of telling my parents

[rrelationshipadvice]

🐤-so i can find this easier

SORRY THIS IS LONG tldr i always think abt breaking up with my gf and now i might have feelings for someone else

i think i know what im supposed to do in this situation but its kinda eating me up a bit

my (20f) gf (20f) have been together ~17 months and i do like her but i worry that its just for the attention and not for her. also i feel like she likes me way more than i like her, she asked me to move in with her and it entirely caught me off guard bc i really didn't feel we were at that point at all. when we first started dating i worried that she liked the idea of me more than me in reality. i worried about how much she trusted me so quickly when i felt like she didn't know me well enough to. of course now shes gotten to know me. i do like her but idk if its romantically or to the same degree as her. i feel like a lot of what i joke abt goes over her head as well. well for months ive been thinking what if i broke up with her. but i worry im being impulsive, pms mood swings, or being influenced by my homophobic parents (im closeted but they met her and had strong negative reactions)

enter my coworker (19m) we didnt work together much kast semester but when we did he was really easy to talk to and just really great in general... fast forward to summer im going insane alone in my room and start thinking abt him but try to tell myself theres no way he likes me its just in my head. theres also a 50% chance hes not single. well when i first met my team i kept getting him mixed up w someone else so i dont remember if it was him or the other person who said that. also they couldve broken up. but now we're working together again i really do think he has a little crush like. im not that dense. i pick up on social cues i just dont know how to respond. and lets be fr i am also not beating the has feelings allegations. clearly.

but yeah i just compare how i feel abt him vs her like. i really enjoy spending time with him and talking with him etc. beyond that i clearly am not having the best time with my gf. i dont want to throw away a good thing with her, yk relationships dont just fall in your lap perfect and shes an amazing person. but i wonder if this is something that can be fixed w a conversation ("i wish we would text/call more...") or if its just that we're not for each other. i dont want to throw away a good thing with him either, like eventually he will learn i have a gf it will come up. and if he actually is into me that could make him. um not be anymore lol. so idk. well i know but idk.

also i feel like he doesn't even factor into this like this girl is in love with me (i think) and probably deserves someone who can give that back 100%. but maybe i am giving it back 100% . idk.

.